collecting poetry

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep, 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember.

Hannah Santana, 02.2021

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember.

Your presence 
beauty of nature
lives the essence 
within remembrance.

You are a constant 
pregnant 
swallowing,
ebb and flow, 
deepening senses, 
of a sense

we have lost.

You know depth, width,
size, height,
light and shadow,
in dimensions that we cannot hear, 
cannot take in fully,

because in the I we disappear.


Because in the eye, we should cry,
as many tears,
as to fill the gaps, 
of the wounds,

of the destruction, 
of the injuries,
of the violations,
of the pollution,
we have made you, 
anonymously, 
carry

for us.

You who are many,
while eyes still 
perceive you as one.
You grow,
you shrink,

you distribute, 
your breath in a in and out.

Waiting for us to reflect.
Waiting for us to respect.


Patiently aware,
of what it really means 
to listen, give
and care.

No horizon touched me that much, 
and left me so ignorant.

We took and take advantage of you, 
to pleasure us,
to fill our never-ending gaps,
of hunger, thirst

and lust.

Not aware of the need, 
nor the gift of your 
lost, forgotten,
ever being

a present.

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep, 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember.

We have misused you 
for our purposes, 
thought we conquered,

but you kept yourself,
steady, carrying,
what you wouldn’t call yours, 
ready to swallow another wave.

Let me swim inside you,
to feel more of the inaudible,
to touch more
of what you have carried
in silence
of long forgotten mourning longing.

You,
being always there, 
nowadays seeming too rare, 
let’s shout out to share
how much we care.

You are family,
I’ve seen you so many times, 
standing in front,

looking at you, 
thinking,
I want you to be mine.

But honestly,
you are so far away from belonging,
and on the same time,
you are so close to make me understand 
that I truly belong.

Next to you,
within you,
is always a space,
a space to remember, 
a space to forget,
a space for me,
to fall even more
for you.

Please,
continue to tell the stories,

with your smell,
that becomes even stronger, 
when you push back.
Continue to tell the stories,
with your colors,
difference marking consistency. 
Continue to tell the stories,
with your gifts of your lifelong 
round polished stones and shells. 
Continue to tell the stories,
With your wideness,
honesty of being too much,
to entirely grasp
and understand.

Being questioning our size, 
being questioning our mind.

Because in front of you 
I’m left with the thought, 
that I am

a just
not enough to.

Not enough to understand,
not enough to go as far and deep, 
not enough to heal,
not enough to make disappear, 
the wounds of the past,
that will last,
as a hidden miscarriage,
of unwritten heritage.

Next to you,
I am questioned,
but still addressed,
I am asked to wonder,
I am asked to open up,
I am asked to breath,
I am asked to dream, 
about all what I don’t know, 
each light on your surface,

that moves and dances. 
Golden shaped seas, 
which cover,
unseen shadows,

of a path,
of history’s lacking honesty.

Holding on to you, 
speaking about you, 
with respect,
is for now

the only thing I can do 
to protect.

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep, 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember. 

I remember you,

he child in me surrender,
my fear was huge,
of your involving,
strong aggressive moves,
what could have made me eat sand, 
within seconds lose.

I remember you,
the child in me surrender, 
you trying to be tender, 
but with your strength 
pushed me in,
diving in,
each wave,
a battle to breathe again.

You made me know,
that there is a way to regain strength, 
while observing and learning your rhythm, 
you push out,
you push in,

your waves get bigger, 
your waves get smaller, 
you push out,
you push in.

Alone I wouldn’t be able to leave, 
I had to wait for you to breath,
to take me in,
to take me with,

to take me back, 
to take me out.


To a ground where I will feel again, 
my knees shivering,
explaining,
you are the one delivering.

You are intertwined,
your movements come out of moments, 
of conjunction,
of reaction,

of collision,
of mutual living,
of cold and warm, 
and fast and slow, 
of waters that react.

A push out,
a push in,
when these waves,
carry me back to ground,
to the point,
where I know,
I do not only stand on my feet.

An eye opener, 
deepening myself, 
into knowing.

I just can live within
and among other selves, 
other cells,

 

invisible living rhythms, 
that are in conjunction, 
are in reaction,
are in collision.

There is a space for you,
there is a space for me,
while this space is not necessary between us, 
but much more has to be created within.

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep, 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember.

I remember
this long-lasting touch, 
being hold,
in your fluently 
gentle moving 
current arms waving.

Just you around, 
Just you ahead.

I wondered,
how much life lies under me, 
beneath me,
the beauty
of never being able to fully 
feel and get what comes 
within you.

Let me sail with you,
with your waves
which silently tell,
that there is not one way 
that goes into one direction,
that makes me relearn 
another rhythm

of a non-settled, 
but nomad 
moving ground.

Let me learn with you,
and relearn how it was
in my mother’s belly, 
carried by
breathtaking waters.
This feeling of being carried, 
protected and loved,

in the hands of a mothers 
earth
care.

Birth of delivery, 
scream out of me, 
see,
I will just only be, 
when I see space, 
breathing in, 
within me.

How often you have touched my eyes, 
how often have your salt dried on my skin,

making tears drop out of my eyes, 
above any sin.
How often I’ve been carried by you, 
you churning up my memories, 
easy remedies,

proving me being alive 
reviving the sense of life.

You made me aware of beauty,
but also, the tearing danger it lays within.

Several times,
you took my brother with you, 
thought I had lost,
seeing him as a dot,
caught,
in your horizon.

I couldn’t had known 
that this was already 
a hint to know

that losing his life, 
will come with time.

Not in your waves,
but on our streets,
that can truly delete
any sense of a heartbeat.

If it weren’t these fishermen,
that knew you better than their child, 
and us praying by the coast,
I would have had less time
to know what means brotherhood,
I feel now I understood.

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep, 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember.

You’re a constant ephemeral notion,
of what might have been,
of what might will come.
Telling stories without no need of words, 
a silent guardian of my and our memories.

How many of us,
have stood by the coast, 
are still standing,
had swam within you, 
are still swimming, 
sailed above you,
are still sailing.

Praying to be save,
while you become theirs grave. 
Dug by human hands, 
disregarded dignity,
that didn’t reach out,

shout out
respect I should remember, 
and scream to never forget. 
This violence
human hurts
in lying silence.

Prayers of hope
and an endless
sorrow of loss,
defenseless,
left behind,
let’s not erase it from ours mind.

Remembrance of care, 
we did not manifest, 
we did not protest. 
Let’s never leave it unexpressed.

Collective memory,

you swallow,
lost dissolved,
in a smell,
that until today fills our memory, 
with your presence, 
remembering us

of all the lost time, 
and absent will
to fight.

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep, 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember.

You are a place of orientation, 
opening up limitations
out of given answers.
into endless questions.

Teach us how to navigate 
our fate with faith
and ability
to take responsibility.

Oceans you kept our intimacy,
And taught us how to be even more intimate.

My dear ocean,
I praise the blue 
out of you.
I praise the lessons, 
you give in silence. 
I praise the secrets 
you keep.

I praise time,
you offer.
I praise the space you are 
within a landscape.
I praise the constant reminder, 
you are.

Monologues,
become dialogues,
with no need of more minds, 
or any straight answer,
nor dots, nor ends.
Just an endless space, 
where I feel,
you know what it is
to embrace.

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep, 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember.

Within your nature,
of a living being,
covering most of our earth,
is the knowledge of pure careful beauty, 
passing erecting waves,

filling concaves,
being a ritual,
in the sense of never repeating the same, 
but coming back,
having the same purpose,
a purpose of just being,
a touching
steady encounter.

The ephemerality,
of each of your movements 
being all one of its own moments, 
a mode of being,
mode of remembrance,
just this,
makes you existential,
makes you monumental.

No need to declare, 
no need to define, 
no need to title,

no need to fill,
because meaning,
grows naturally out of you, 
without being imposed. 
without being composed, 
without being erected,
out of human minds or hands.

Coming from the top,
like we could decide
what will be and stay
in our next generations mind.

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep, 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember.

We should take you as a compass, 
as a guidance,
to teach us,
how to have perseverance, 
endurance and patience,

while needs are being disregarded, 
so, we learn to open up and dive in 
in a world that we believe in,
a wish for mutual and

lifelong coexistence.

Teaching us how to survive,
within a world that stopped to care, 
while you being the one teaching us 
how to really share
without to expect.

Understanding from you how to connect, 
taking your body as a mirror,
how to deepen a body of remembrance, 
without the need to explain, or claim,

without shame to find a new aim.

Let’s distillate your experience,
and believe in our incredible reserve of creativity, that teaches us to have the sensibility,
how to cherish our feelings,
screaming out for healings.

Being listeners,
to what is needed 
and still unseeded.

Believing in poetry, 
as a source,
as a vital necessity, 
to express empathy, 
and for sake,

trying to get awake.

Carve your stories,
from rocks of your own experience

of our daily lives
and believe to express how love, 
can keep us alive.

You give us the strength 
and courage to see,
to feel,
to speak and to dare.

Dare a change of mind.

It makes me smile,
even being so far for a while. 
You regulate my breath, 
nothing left such a mark,
as I left.

Your sweet fluent gestures, 
are still strengthening me. 
Calling me to look within, 
not to hear but to listen,

and try to come closer,
with every word I share with you, 
remembering that it’s you,
who taught me to love.

I monumentalize you

in memory to keep, 
because love 
shout out
respect

I should remember.

I hear you slowly touching, 
each grain of sand left, 
leaving them behind, 
shiny refreshed.

With all of their different 
colors and shapes visible, 
holding on to each other, 
creating a ground,

we can walk on,

firm.

Ready to dry out,
and give space again, 
move again,
until when,
we meet again,
and are stable, 
touched strengthened, 
by your waters again.

Let’s not grow bigger,
than a grain of sand,
and understand,
how close to each other we might stand, 
creating one land,

which could be a strong and stable ground, 
that could make us feel and live around.

it speaks by itself through me

I am useless, useful.
I am careful, carrying.
I am strong, while I am soft.
I am a passage, with a possibility to remain. 
I am transitioning, won’t stop imagining.
I advance, in moments of blindness, 
I know, because I feel.
I face, while you are questioning.
I am centered, while being at a margin.
I continue, to remember.
I am shifting, to step closer.
I am misunderstood, when I understand.
I am conscious, confronting.
I am still listening, even if I kept silence enough.
I am in need, when it is about your survival.
I feel awaken, when I don’t know.
I long for myself, because I belonged too much.
I aim, for the noncommunicable by communicating.
I search truth in the unknown.
I am loud and we still can’t hear the unbearable silence laying within.
I imagine a future that has a path...
where I am no other. (than you)


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